


I Wanna Be Still With You

by space_aces



Series: Modern AU [1]
Category: The Mechanisms (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Blood and Injury, Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Indulgent, homoeroticism of stitching up your boyfriend after he gets stabbed, things like purposely getting into situations where you know you'll get hurt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-10
Updated: 2020-04-10
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:22:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,167
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23575336
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/space_aces/pseuds/space_aces
Summary: There is a lot more blood in a human body than you might think. Jonny doesn’t remember much of what happened but he did remember the feeling of the knife going into his side. Nobody had bothered to call an ambulance, which he was actually grateful for, and that’s what landed him standing outside Brian’s apartment with a knife still embedded in him. His knees were weak and he was pretty sure he’s about to pass out but the blood loss couldn’t have been that much. Right?or Jonny gets fucking stabbed and Brian has to patch him up asmr
Relationships: Drumbot Brian/Jonny d'Ville
Series: Modern AU [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1700941
Comments: 18
Kudos: 131
Collections: Stowaways' Shenanigans





	I Wanna Be Still With You

**Author's Note:**

> FUCK THIS GOT LONGER THAN I EXPECTED TBH!! This was literally me just playing around in my own au and suddenly i was like huh guess this is sad now. This is a modern au so Brian isn't a robot and they can both die for reals. Also this takes place pretty early into their relationship. Please indulge me on he weirdness of how this was kinda written,,
> 
> title: Texas Reznikoff - Mitski

There is a lot more blood in a human body than you might think. Jonny doesn’t remember much of what happened but he did remember the feeling of the knife going into his side. Nobody had bothered to call an ambulance, which he was actually grateful for, and that’s what landed him standing outside Brian’s apartment with a knife still embedded in him. His knees were weak and he was pretty sure he’s about to pass out but the blood loss couldn’t have been that much. Right?

The door opened and Brian was standing there looking pretty annoyed. What time was it again? Brian’s face quickly morphed into shock then concern and ushered Jonny inside before he could even say anything, “I’m calling an ambulance. Sit on my couch and do  _ not _ touch it.”

Jonny did as told and took a shuddering breath as he sat, “Please don’t call an ambulance. You went to med school right? Can’t you just stitch me up doctor style?” He looked up to see Brian in the middle of dialing, “Please..” 

There looked to be internal conflict before Brian sighed and put his phone down, “Fine, okay. Let me get my supplies. I’m not letting you get off easy so don’t expect this to feel nice. We’re getting this fully cleaned.” Jonny just nodded along, leaning against the couch. It was a nice couch, sucks he was getting blood on it.

Brian left and came back in a matter of minutes and had Jonny lay down, “I need to check the wound and since you’re very adamant of no hospital, I’m taking the knife out. Do you remember anything about getting stabbed?” He shook his head and instantly regretted it, “Fuck. I’m gonna cut off your shirt now.”

“Take me to dinner first.” The words came out more slurred than Jonny would’ve liked and the only thing he got in response was a sharp look.

"I love you, but once I fix you up I'm actually going to kill you." Brian cut off Jonny's shirt and took a good look at the wound, "It doesn't get any easier to see you hurt." His voice was still calm but with the underlying sadness that Jonny recognized from the other times he's been nicked or stabbed.

"I'm sorry." Jonny almost didn't hear his own words. They came out soft and fragile, like they would shatter if said too loudly.

"We can't keep doing this. You can't keep going out and getting yourself hurt. One day you're going to have to go to the hospital or you're going to end up dead." The calmness almost made what Brian said worse. It disconnected feelings and Jonny knew both of them coped in different ways that couldn't meet in the middle. It still hurt though.

"Sorry."

"You think I like stitching you up? You stumble in here bleeding," Brian's voice was rising a little and Jonny couldn't help but hope he would get yelled at, "talking shit like nothing can kill you. Well you're just human and I can't lose you!" It was Brian who flinched at the raise in volume. Jonny just looked away, not daring to move, "I-I'm sorry. I shouldn't have yelled. I'm just scared." He took a deep breath and got ready to remove the knife, “We can talk later. This is going to hurt but I don’t have anything to numb right now.”

It did hurt. It hurt but Jonny just grit his teeth and let Brian do his job. He squeezed the couch, desperately wishing it could’ve been Brian’s hand or even thigh. The craving for a comforting touch was strong and a small feeling of disgust grew in his heart. There was no reason he deserved that comfort. He had come to Brian’s place bleeding, asking for him to fix him up as always. Asking him to let Jonny feel something again. Whether that feeling was love or guilt, it was a feeling and it warmed him more than the sharp pain of a knife.

He doesn’t remember most of what happened after. The cleaning of the wound stung but it was apparently clean enough to stitch up. You were supposed to keep stab wounds open, Jonny knew that, but Brian said it was fine and he trusts him with his life.Even if he was wrong.

“I love you, y’know.” Jonny winced a little at Brian’s voice. He didn’t mean to but he knew Brian saw and his voice went closer to a whisper, “You mean a lot to me, Jonny. I wouldn’t have let you in if you didn’t.” There was so much affection in his voice it made Jonny want to cry, “I know I said we’ll talk after this but I just wanted to make sure you knew. Plus the silence isn’t great.” 

“Tell me about your day?” Jonny’s words came out a bit cracked. They both knew about Brian’s ~~fear~~ distaste of silence. It was why there seemed to always be something playing in the home with this time being an exception due to the fact that he was supposed to be sleeping. Jonny didn’t want to ruin the night anymore than he already had. 

“My day? Well I didn’t have any shifts today which was a surprise so I mostly just did some basic errands.” Brian continued to talk about his day as Jonny closed his eyes and listened closely. He let the words wash over him, barely even registering the pain of the needle going in and out of his skin. Brian’s voice was one of his favourite sounds even though he knew the other didn’t like it as much. Found it hard to express emotion, often calling his own voice robotic. Jonny long since learned not to argue back, they both had their share of insecurities and it only led to fights. He was trying to do better though. Brian said he was already good enough but he knew it was a lie. He knew that he shouldn’t come to Brian the first time.

Lost in his own thoughts and Brian’s rambling, he didn’t notice he had drifted off until he awoke in a large bed. The clothes on him weren’t his own, smelled too clean. It was a large sweater and a pair of pajama pants that he was pretty sure Brian bought just for him. He wrapped his arms around himself and snuggled into the sweater a little. It was warm and brought a sense of comfort. A few minutes passed before he actually got out of the bed. It was empty and the clock said it was around five o’clock in the morning. He padded his way into the kitchen, ignoring the slight pain movement brought. No one was there but there was the lingering smell of coffee which meant that Brian was still up. His next destination was the living room where he saw Brian nursing a mug while the tv played quietly.

“Brian?” Brian looked at him before standing up and walking quickly over. Before Jonny knew it, he was pulled into a hug. His arms didn’t know what to do for a second before he was clutching the back of Brian’s shirt like his life depended on it. Tears were trying to fall but he made sure they didn’t, “I’m sorry.” Holding back from crying actually hurt quite a bit, which wasn’t new knowledge for Jonny anyways, “I’m so sorry.”

“You don’t need to apologize. I got you, you’re always safe here.” Brian was petting his hair gently and Jonny couldn’t help but give a watery laugh before nuzzling more into the other’s neck. Maybe he should cry, but not now. Not when this is the best he’ll feel for a long time. The most he’ll feel for a long time. He always ran away, it was just a surprise Brian always waited for him no matter what.

“Are we gonna talk now?” Jonny’s voice was a bit muffled but Brian still heard him clearly.

“If you’re okay with it. I can always wait for you.”

“Can we sit?” Jonny moved his head so he could actually look at Brian before quickly looking away. The fondness and affection in his face was too much at the moment.

“Yeah, of course.” Brian gave him a quick kiss on the head before shuffling them both over to the couch. Jonny didn’t let go of him the entire time, moving to cling onto his arm when they sat down, “I know we’re both touch starved but isn’t this a bit much?”

Jonny let go like he was burned, “Sorry.” He tried to scoot away but gentle hands pulled him back.

“It was a joke, I’m sorry. C’mere.” Brian pulled Jonny onto his side so that he was leaning on him, “I don’t like seeing you hurt. You’re too hard on yourself and I know why you do it, but it’s not going to help in the long run. What you need is professional help, love. I can try all I want to help you, but it’ll only help so much.”

The tears were back and Jonny hated it, “I know. I know all of that but it’s hard. It’s so much easier to just...get hurt. It’s easier to have someone else hurt you and run away from anything else. It feels like I deserve it..” He knew he was crying and he was glad Brian didn’t say anything about it.

“I know you won’t stop right away, that’s not how healing works. I also know that you’re so incredibly strong and amazing and truly have a good heart despite what you say about having a cold metal heart,” Brian poked Jonny’s chest lightly to emphasize his point, “I love you and you deserve that love. I’ll keep saying that until it isn’t as hard to believe anymore. Until you stop giving that pained face when you hear it.”

“Sorry-”

“None of that now, alright? You have nothing to apologize for. Yeah, sometimes you’re a right bastard, but you’re always kind when it matters. You’re not the villain you’ve made yourself out to be, dear.” Jonny played with Brian’s hands as the latter spoke, “We can go to therapy together. Make it a date.” Both of them laughed softly at that. It eased some of the tension in the air, making it easier to breathe.

“That sounds nice..” For once, Jonny spoke the truth. That did actually sound nice, “I’m still fucking scared though. I know that just makes it useless and I know it’s weak-”

“Whoa whoa whoa, where did you get that idea? You’re not weak for being scared. I was pretty fucking scared at first, sometimes I still am. It takes a lot to even agree to think about it, Jonny. You’re already doing better.” Brian sounded so sure that it was hard for Jonny to disagree. He really was too good for him.

Instead of voicing that though, Jonny just laughed. He didn’t know exactly what was so funny but emotions are weird like that. However, laughing with a stab wound wasn’t great and the laugh quickly turned into a groan as he clutched at his side where the bandages were, “Fuck..” It came out more like a wheeze and Brian was already moving to check on the wound.

He sighed as Jonny shivered due to his cold hands, “You really are a mess, huh. Good thing we’re messes together.” Once Brian was sure nothing bad had happened, he shifted his position so the two of them could lay down together.

“You have a perfectly comfortable bed by the way,” Jonny laid against Brian’s chest anyways, “You’re not a mess too. You’re smart, nice, a fucking bitch sometimes and,” He paused slightly and had a bit of an internal fight, “and I love you.” It was easy to hear Brian’s heart speed up from where he was lying and he couldn’t help the small chuckle at it, “Are you still flustered by that?”

“Yeah! It’s because I love you so much.” Brian said it with so much glee that Jonny couldn’t help but look up at his face, “I’m a mess too still. We’re both getting better though. I didn’t take those philosophy classes for nothing.”

“Those classes sucked and you were better off not going to them.” Jonny frowned as he spoke and went back to lying on Brian’s chest, listening to his heartbeat.

Brian just laughed though, “Maybe so. Aren’t you supposed to be resting now? It is like fucking early in the morning.”

“That’s my favourite measurement of time.”

“You know what I mean. Go to sleep, Jonny. I literally cannot go anywhere even if I tried right now.” Jonny just huffed but closed his eyes anyways. The sounds of the quiet tv and Brian’s heartbeat eventually lulled him to sleep. Brian fell asleep gently combing his fingers through Jonny’s hair, forgetting about the coffee he had made. They’re getting better.

**Author's Note:**

> and then jonny got therapy and they lived happily ever after. I did actually search up how to bandage a stab wound...
> 
> Working title: "the inherent homoeroticism of stitching up a wound"


End file.
